Mastering the Mental Game with Riley Jensen: Strategies for Athletes

Summary
Riley Jensen, a mental performance coach and former football player, discusses the importance of resilience, positive self-talk, and focusing on strengths in the recruiting process and in life. He emphasizes the value of football in building confidence, character, and the ability to handle pressure. Jensen also highlights the need for individuals to control the controllables, manage stress, and make decisions based on personal happiness. He encourages athletes to avoid comparison and to embrace their unique strengths and abilities. In this conversation, Funaki Asisi discusses the power of body language and emotions, the importance of self-awareness and controlling reactions, and the impact of awareness in sports psychology. He also reflects on Travis Kelsey's reaction and the need for public apology. Asisi emphasizes the importance of controlling reactions to influence outcomes and the impact of reactions on others. He discusses the power of a million small reactions and the role of momentum in football and life. Finally, he shares the purpose of his book 'Pure Unadulterated Guts' and the value of tools for personal growth.

Takeaways
Football builds resilience, character, and the ability to handle pressure.
Focus on controlling the controllables and managing stress in the recruiting process.
Avoid comparison and embrace your unique strengths and abilities.
Positive self-talk and body language can have a significant impact on confidence and performance. Body language and emotions can have a significant impact on communication and performance.
Self-awareness is crucial in sports psychology and personal growth.
Controlling reactions can influence outcomes and build momentum.
The impact of reactions extends beyond oneself and can affect others.
Tools and resources can help individuals improve their reactions and achieve their goals.

Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Shoutout to Pure Energy Solar
01:20 Appreciation for Football and the Recruiting Process
04:02 Riley Jensen's Background and Career Path
05:27 Riley Jensen's Work as a Mental Performance Coach
07:53 The Importance of Making Career Changes
08:17 The Influence of a Friend's Advice
09:43 Overcoming Challenges and Taking Risks
10:38 The Impact of Positive Support and Encouragement
12:32 The Value of Junior College in Football
13:52 The Benefits of Playing Football
16:17 The Importance of Hustling and Working Hard
17:29 The Role of Resilience in Football
18:54 The Pressure and Mental Challenges in Football
19:44 The Impact of Football on Confidence and Self-Talk
21:38 The Challenges and Rewards of Broadcasting
22:29 The Importance of Preparation and Focus in Broadcasting
23:51 The Influence of Football on Confidence and Self-Talk
25:18 The Need for Resilience and Growth in Society
26:42 Applying Football Lessons to Other Areas of Life
28:34 The Impact of Football on Identity and Character
29:33 Managing Stress and Pressure in the Recruiting Process
30:59 Controlling the Controllables in the Recruiting Process
32:50 The Power of Positive Self-Talk and Body Language
35:13 Choosing a School Based on Personal Happiness
37:34 Avoiding Comparison and Focusing on Strengths
39:55 Overcoming Negative Self-Talk and Building Confidence
47:27 The Power of Body Language and Emotions
48:50 Self-Awareness and Controlling Reactions
49:46 The Importance of Awareness in Sports Psychology
50:39 Travis Kelsey's Reaction and Building Awareness
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Transcript

Funaki Asisi (00:00.046)
in this day and age of players leaving whenever they want to. Coaches have always been leaving without a contract. Make sure that you're at a school that if everything went wrong with football that you would still enjoy going to school there.

Funaki Asisi (00:21.486)
Before we get going, I just wanted to shout out to Pure Energy Solar for letting me use this awesome podcast space that they have in the office. I may or may not have been very involved in the design and build of it, but it wouldn't be right of me to not put a quick plug -in for them, because honestly speaking, if I weren't for Pure Energy and weren't for Corey Cottrell, I wouldn't be here visiting with Riley Jensen today.

So quick plug there, and quick thank you to Pure Energy. And if you're interested in solar in Texas or Colorado, I mean, nobody does better than Pure. Also, if you're looking for some work, I mean, I think our sales squads will pretty much pay you just to come out and train. So there's a lot of opportunities there. And I don't mean to be, so I know you're doing some work with a solar company too, so I don't mean to do that to you. No, no, no. We're all good. We're all good.

All right, cool. Your energy is great, man. And I love me some Corey Cotchwell as well. Okay, good stuff. Well, I kind of let the cat out of the bag earlier there. Our guest today is Riley Jensen, so mental performance coach, author, fairly recent book that went out, and I'm enjoying thoroughly as I continue to read through it. And I really, honestly speaking, would love to just kind of get into

the meat and potatoes. But before we do, man, I just want to say thank you, Riley, for taking this time to hop on here. This is phenomenal. Well, you know what? It's really fun for me. I love being around the game. And I think, you know, I was down in Texas near you just not even a month ago. And I think the love that you have for football, the love that you have for recruiting and

and helping these kids is invaluable. And, you know, I think back to when I was getting recruited, I was the oldest of three boys that played college football. And I remember my parents just, they didn't even know what to do. And it's really amazing. You would think that everybody has it figured out, right? But nobody has it figured out. And so this is, to me, this is a great resource. And...

Funaki Asisi (02:42.446)
think my brothers were able to make better decisions because my parents had been through it once. You're the guinea pig. Right. I was the guinea pig and you know, it worked out well for all of us. All of us were able to graduate from different levels of college without debt. And I just feel like that has been a huge blessing to me and my brothers. Yeah, we all would have loved to play in the NFL, but just having that, just having that ability to graduate.

from college without debt and move into the working class with that head start has been invaluable to me and my brothers and really to our respective families. Yeah, you can say that a million times over and it's more true every time, man. I don't know, I also do benefit from that. So yeah, I appreciate you saying that. And I think a lot of people lose perspective on that pretty quickly.

Uh, unfortunately, and those that haven't gone through, I got former teammates where I'm like, man, like you, you feel like you're going through some struggles, but realize, you know, like how great you have it, like how great of a headstart that you actually had getting out of, you know, college athletics and not having any debt, man. I mean, that's a really good point. Um, so I, I'll go into some quick stuff. Like I said, I kind of want to go into the meat and potatoes. So.

I am going to bear with me. I'm going to go through and do some quick introductions so people don't understand who you are. And if I'm off base on anything, you can let me know. Oh, yeah, I'll let you know. I'll let you know. OK. But Riley, so as you kind of talked through it, I played quarterback Utah State 97 and 98 seasons. Very unfortunate. Came down with an injury. And then there was pretty much a knockout blow, as your book puts it. And.

Just yeah, that was the end of the playing career, but you went down the more of the coaching path and sales path. Ultimately, you went to sports broadcasting, which is I don't think people realize how the art, but that happens behind broadcasting. So that's awesome to have you kind of hear and talk through that too. But also you're still very heavy in the sales side of everything with the broadcasting side. And then now a mental.

Funaki Asisi (04:58.03)
mental performance coach for athletes, all levels. You're from Olympic all the way through youth. I mean, and everything in between you help out, which is phenomenal as well. And then just a couple of years ago, which is really unique from that standpoint, you actually took on the role of mental sports performance coach for Utah State University and their athletics programs. And also on the side, I don't know how you're juggling all these things. I mean, your title lives up to your abilities here because.

You're also training youth, I think specifically quarterbacks on the weekends. And at one point, I know you were, and this is for all the coaches out there for their realization too, is you were running, pretty much running the mountain. I know you had some help there, but the Mountain West Elite Camp, which honestly, that was one of the best camps for those that don't know. It was one of the best camps you could attend on this side of the Mississippi. So like literally, I remember that specifically in recruiting kids that we found at that camp. So.

Well, I really, I really appreciate that. We put a lot of love and heart into Mountain West Elite. Obviously, I'm still training quarterbacks through what I'm doing now, but sports psychology is my day job. Helping kids is my full time job. So whether it's training quarterbacks, whether it's helping them with the mental game, it's been it's been a real joy and a pleasure. I, you know, I changed careers at 40. I was in.

I was selling hospital beds and stretchers for Stryker, a Fortune 500 company, and made that shift and used all the tools that I learned while I was playing Division I football to grind and to persevere and be resilient. And we made it through there. And now I'm the mental performance coach for Utah State University, Weber State University, Westminster College. And then I have a couple of teams over at Salt Lake Community College. And then like you said, Olympic athletes, pro football players, pro.

basketball players both in Europe and the NBA pro golfers. So every every I have a I have a pro rodeo guy that's 52 years old and a nine year old soccer player. So I mean we're talking about the whole gamut of the mental game. So it's fun. Yeah, man, I can only I wish some of those conversations that could be very confidential and fly on the wall to hear.

Funaki Asisi (07:23.502)
Just, you know, I can only imagine the amount of information that comes out and the amount of support that you bring to these athletes is super cool. So, and then speaking of which, you talked about some changes in your, you know, your career path, so to speak, right? From sales to striker. There was something that came up in your book, and I'm going to probably read through it almost exactly if you don't mind. But there was a point, just in the introduction itself, where you're talking about, you know, one day you had a good friend that...

said, hey, when are you going to quit your job and do what you were born to do? You need to be in sports psychology. So I have a quick question about that. And I think we may have talked about it in person, but who was that friend? And then what was so significant about how they delivered that message to you that you feel like it made you start, all those things start turning in your head?

So it's, it's my best friend. His name's Andrew Taylor. In fact, he's got an office two doors down from me. He runs a really cool program called Octagon Mentoring, which is for people who are recovering from like a lot of times they'll go to those recovery centers. Like he owns, he owns one in, in Costa Rica. But this is what he's doing now is the transition from going to recovery. And what ends up happening is we ended up talking about a lot of the same things.

Um, we had always counseled each other. He gave me a really good book when I was going through some struggles. One time I had the worst title ever called, are you ready to succeed by Srikumar Yow? Like dumb and it must've sat on my living room table for like six months before I read it. And we always talk about the book, but he's just always been a really good friend to me. And he's like, Riles, you're so good at listening. You're so good at.

like making real world examples that are impactful to me. Like, and we had talked about sports psychology. We just, I just hadn't really moved in that direction. I was, I was in a position that I call golden handcuffs and making really good money at Striker Medical, right? Enough money to keep you there, not enough money to make you totally happy and maybe not as fulfilling as I wanted it to be. And he's like, you got to do it, bro. You got to do it.

Funaki Asisi (09:43.726)
you gotta do it. And I was like, I can't, I can't even have the conversation with my wife. And I was like, look, I got a two year old and a newborn, you know, like she's not going to let me quit school or quit my job and go back to work. Right. Well, he said, when are you going to do it? And then literally it was within two months where my wife watched me walk through the door and she was like, dude,

what in the world are you doing? And I'm like, what? It wasn't even a bad day at work, right? It was just a day. It wasn't like I nailed it. It wasn't like I screwed it up. It was just a day. I wasn't in a bad mood. I was just grinding it out. And she goes, if I have to, and you know, she's kind of funny. Her dad was a New York City cop for a while, but she said, if I have to walk,

If I have to watch Riley Jensen gas face walk through that door one more time in my life, like this is not happiness, you know, I'm like, man, what did I do? I had no idea. You know, she jokes that I have every face, but a poker face, right? So I'm not playing poker with you anytime knocking because I kind of wear my emotions on my face, but you're good. That's when we started. She's like, you never even have put anything on my table. I'm not saying you can go back, but I'm not saying you can't like let's.

Let's see if there's a plan and, oh man, I just feel like there was some divine intervention and a whole bunch of really cool things that happened that led to me being able to do this. And then, you know, in some ways, like all the different things that I've trying to, I've been trying to be involved with is how I got to know you, right? Like I was coaching back to the camp this summer for pro tech. Right. And then we ran into each other when I was performing or when I was, um, speaking energy. Yep.

And it's, you know, I think, I think the lesson that I would take from everything that's happening, including what you're saying in the book is you got to hustle while you wait. You got to work while you wait. And I know, I know this is a recruiting platform, right? Like you're not always going to get the answers that you want, but you got to hustle while you wait. You got to work while you wait. In fact, for those of you that have signed division one, like you're going to have to hustle while you wait.

Funaki Asisi (12:06.638)
You're not always going to get used the way that you want to get used and you're not going to be able to. Just beginning. A hundred percent. Right? Right. It's like, it's just the beginning. Like I tell, I tell high school players all the time. I'm like, your most humbling day in your life will be your first division one practice. It will be, or just anyone that's going to college. I don't care. Snow college was the one that I remember.

Uh, my very first day of practice at snow college, they had an all American wide receiver the year before he had 12 interceptions in 10 games and he ran eight of them back for touchdowns. That's how good this guy was. He had offers to USC, Washington state, everybody. My first two passes in my, in my first like college scrimmage were pick sixes to Andre Jones. And my coach goes, Hey,

you know, he's an all American, you might want to throw the other direction one time, you know, it was so humbling. Like I was like, dude, I thought I was the stuff weekends are made of. And I'm not sure. I'm not sure I'm good enough to play here, you know? And I thought I got robbed and that I wasn't that I, that I should have been D one right out of high school. And that snow college was beneath me, man. It was, that was a humbling day for me.

No, I, what's funny too, cause we talked about that a little bit before we hopped on was like, I think there's a very big misconception of like people very much underestimating JCs in general. Like just, you don't realize the amount of talent that actually goes through a junior college and the opportunity you have to make that make you 10 times better because of that. Like, so, Oh man. Hey, just to give you an example.

The two years that I played at Snow College, I have six buddies that played in the NFL. The two years that I played at Utah State, I had one. That is, yeah. Do you mind sharing who? Do you remember all the... So the guy that played in the NFL from Utah State, John Dale Cardy played for the Atlanta Falcons, made it like seven years. Unbelievable guy. From Florida.

Funaki Asisi (14:22.062)
one of my one of my very, very good friends. But if I'm going down the list of guys that played in the NFL, even just a couple. Yeah, even just a couple of you want Aaron Boone played at University of Kentucky played had a couple of copy with the Dallas Cowboys and the Carolina Panthers. Yeah. Kevin Curtis, L .A. Rams, Philadelphia Eagles. That was I threw seven touchdowns to him my sophomore year at Snow College. Right. Unbelievable.

He's a beast. Junior Iwane who played for Arizona State played for the Raiders and for the Texans. Mario Fata Fahey who played for the Denver Broncos. Derek Smith who played for the San Francisco 49ers in Arizona State. A missing one. Who am I missing? I mean, I put you on the spot here and I'm at a press that you remember that man.

Yeah, so I mean, you're just talking about like, those guys were all on my team at Snow College, and they're all playing in the NFL. They all played in the NFL. Yeah. And I had one at Utah State. So when you're talking about junior college, and you're talking about, you know, going there, I mean, you could go talk to old Ricks College guys, old Dixie College guys. I mean, it's the same story. They have six, seven guys that played in the NFL with them, you know, and they were junior college guys to start out with. And

I tell people all the time, I tell recruits all the time, like, look, if you love football, there's a place for you. It may not be exactly where you wanted it to be, but man, if they're putting money forward and they're invested in you, and even if they're not, like now, like a preferred walk -on is so valuable compared to when I was playing, you know, get all the food that you need, right? That's, I mean, that's a huge bill for a football player right there. And then,

And then you get a chance to play. If you love football, I promise you there's a place for you. And then if you play well early at Snow College, at Weber State, at Eastern Washington, you're gonna get picked up D1 because they're all going into the portal now. Look, I'm not saying that everybody that goes to the portal, that it all works out, but if you go and you just think to yourself,

Funaki Asisi (16:45.582)
I'm going to play as hard as I can and be the best football player for this team right here, right now. Good things are going to happen. Period. End of story. Period. Yep.

I mean, I love that. I don't know how else to put it. Like, go play at division three, Southern Virginia and start as a freshman and put up 3000 yards passing and 30 touchdowns and see what happens. See what happens to your life. How do you not get noticed at that point? Right. How do you not get noticed? Okay. And then, and then let's throw all of it out. Let's just say that like nothing does happen. You're the all time passing leader, the greatest passer ever at Southern Virginia university.

And you love football for the rest of your life and you spread the good news of football and all the benefits of playing football that comes from the camaraderie, the brotherhood, the teamwork, the learning how to grind, the learning how to like, like learn things. Like I can't, I cannot believe that there's a push for people not to play football. I, my articles that I write say, how can you afford not to play football?

As a mom, how can you afford not to let your son play football? There are so many things I learned and the more I coach and the more I'm around it, I'm like, you can't replicate this anywhere else. Sorry, I'm getting fired up, dude. This is my jam, bro. Football is the greatest sport on the earth. It embraces every single body style. It embraces every single type of athletic ability. It forces you to think,

It forces you to grow. It kicks you out of your comfort zone on a daily basis. And if you can't grow from that, well, then you just weren't meant to grow. And the truth is you will grow because you don't have a choice but to grow. Yeah, you have to. And what's funny is, okay, you bring up some specific things and the specific in the point of one of those that I want to cover with you, which you talk about intensively in your book, but also when you met with us here in person down in Texas.

Funaki Asisi (18:54.542)
is pressure, right? And being able to react and think and like all those things you talk about that football does to you and I'm 100 % in agreeance I would not be who I am today without that sport. Not a chance. No chance, right? In the way you stand, the way you hold yourself, the way you present yourself is at least...

40 % response football is 40 % responsible for that. For me, for me personally, I would say I'm not trying to take away from the credit that your parents did. I'm not trying to take away from your, your, your current spouse and some other things that shape you. But it got you off to a good start. It got you off to a good start. You can't, you know, people, my, my favorite thing about somebody like you, you got this, you got this great baritone voice, right? And you're this big solid dude. Yeah.

Um, when you do your, when you do your podcast, the biggest compliment that I can give you is you make it look easy so that everybody else thinks they can do it. Right. And the greatest broadcasters are the ones that make other people go, I think I could do that. And then they get there and it's not so easy. It's not easy. So when you're doing the stuff you're doing, the bravery and the courage and the vulnerability and the, the fact that you're not afraid to fail.

is what makes you successful. And I know you learned that over and over and over while you're playing football, while you're coaching football, and as you continue to be involved. Man, yeah. Well, I appreciate the compliment, one. And it's funny you brought up broadcasting. I mean, listening to most recent example in Super Bowl, I mean, the broadcasters in those games, I mean, man, like the people don't, I'm really glad you said that because like people don't realize the amount of preparation and like,

just the training that you have to go through and the focus on the game that it takes to actually broadcast the game. I remember that one of the very, I had a chance to do it for some basketball games at Southern Utah University. And I remember being one of the most difficult things for me at first. I was invited by a guy named Art Chalice. Art Chalice let me down. He was the voice of the T -Birds for years. And he's like, hey, just come sit down here. He's like, just, I'll help you through it. I'll coach you through it. Like, we'll figure it out.

Funaki Asisi (21:09.134)
And he's doing play by play, play by play. He expected me to do color and he's just following the game. Also, he looks at me. He's like, I'm over here. Like, I don't know what to say. So it is trial by error, which again, I mean, relating that back to the, the sport, man, like I totally could have been, I could have gave up and walked away, but I'm never doing that again. But after that one moment, I was like, okay, I'm not going let that happen again.

and I'm gonna keep doing this and doing this until I get it right. And I got better and better and by no means was I fantastic, but I learned to love it. I learned to love it and it was super cool. So the fact that you did it for so many years is incredible. I love to watch a game with a great broadcaster now. I love listening to Tony Romo.

The great thing about Tony Romo is everybody thinks that like he reads the defenses and he does do that a little bit, but he's also done his homework. He knows what the offensive coordinator for the Chiefs is going to do. He knows what the offensive coordinator for the 49ers are going to do. He's had meetings with them. He knows what to look for and then he breaks it down into like bite sized pieces that everybody can understand, not just somebody that played quarterback like me or not just somebody that played lineman like you.

everybody enjoys his insights. He's like, Oh, here's that look. Check this out. You know, and he's and he's like circling over here and he's like, they might they might really try and take advantage of that. That boom happens. And he looks like Nostradamus. But really what that was, was preparation, right? Right, too. Yep. Preparation, which he learned in football.

Big surprise, big surprise, right? Yeah, surprise back to all the lessons that football teaches you. I mean, I, dude, I have, I coach an eight and nine year old football team right now. And when mom asked me, I'm like, you watch after this season, your son will stand differently. Your son will stand differently. And they're like, what do you mean? And I'm like, I promise you his confidence will go through the roof and.

Funaki Asisi (23:21.23)
She came up to me after the season. She said, you're right. And then the next year they thought about quitting because this is the second year that we coached him. And she's like, he's just having a real, real problem with reading and we got to get him into that. And I'm like, well, don't take him out of football. Do not take him out of football. And she was like, again, she came back after the season. She's like, you're right. You're right. And they didn't. And this kid stands different. Now look, he's a bigger kid. He's the center on the football team. He's, you know, doing all these amazing things, but he stands differently.

And when I watch him play soccer now with my son, when I watch him play baseball, he's way more confident in those sports. And he's a freak, he's a juggernaut. Like this kid is on his way. And I think, I think football builds confidence because, and the reason why it's different than other sports, and the only thing that's maybe even close, and I still don't think it's quite there as rugby, is because you are doing something that you physically can get harmed at.

Yeah. And that takes bravery and courage. And if you don't have, if, if, if you don't like push through that nervousness, that pressure, that anxiousness to realize that you can do difficult things where you can do scary things, that's where football is different. And that's why I tell people all the time, like it's one thing to get beat by 40 in basketball, cause it hurts your feelings. You get beaten by 40 in football, it hurts your feelings and your butt.

and your shoulder and your head and everything else, right? And so you gotta be tough. Like you don't have a choice, but to fight it inside of you to be tough. And I'm not trying to be critical of society, but we need a little bit more. We need a little bit more of resiliency. We need a little bit more of want to, and we need a little bit more of fighting through some difficult times right now because we can't be looking for our inhaler every time something like stresses us out. And I,

That's not to take anything against what's going on with someone who legitimately needs an inhaler. But like we got, we got to work through some things in this society and we got to be the, the, the phrase that I love right now is a little bit less offended and a little bit less offensive. If all of us could be that, this world would be a lot better place. Stop being so sensitive and stop being insensitive.

Funaki Asisi (25:46.926)
Well, let's talk about that for a second. So there's multiple things I wanted to talk about on that. I'm off on a tangent. Dude, I love it. Trust me. I love it. Well, one thing, just a personal example of this one. So I got done playing football, right? And everyone goes through that identity piece where it's like, man, I'm done playing. What am I going to do with my life? And what's unique about what you talked about, how you got into sales, I did. So one of the first things I did outside of football was I got into sales and

It was door -to -door sales. And I remember being dropped off for the first time, like, go knock doors. And I was like, I started walking down the street like, what? Like, I think I walked like a mile without touching one door. Because I was like, what am I doing? Like, this is so silly. This is difficult. I don't know what I'm saying. I don't know what I'm doing. And then all of a sudden, it hit me. And I was like, I've done much harder things than this. One, much harder. I was like, and two,

Like literally all I gotta do is talk to people. And I've been, like, so going back to again, things learned from football, I 100 % agree that that mentality of like, I can do hard things, which I believe is something that you've also said in the opportunity you had to come speak with us here in Texas, but I can do hard things. And the more you can realize that the better off you're going to be. But I mean, think about this, Naki, like you played offensive lineman. Yeah.

And I played quarterback people, people like, can't, they're like, dude, I can't believe you could stand there in front of 300 pound guys and throw football. I don't even remember the last time I worried about that. No, like, like you blocked 300 pound guys every single day of your life for at least four years, maybe more than that. You know what I mean? And I guarantee you, you can't even remember the last time that you thought, Oh, this guy's big.

You're just like, no, I'm going to fire off. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do it. Like playing football. I didn't, I didn't get a realization until I watched Philip Rivers, like four years after I was done. And there was a really, really physical North Carolina state Florida state game that I was coaching in. And I just had this thought in my head, like, wow, I know exactly how Philip feels right now. He's not, he's not fearful at all, but I can't believe I played this game. Like this is.

Funaki Asisi (28:10.74)
rough. It took four years before I even like had a second thought that like I could play that game. Like, you know, and that's what it builds, man. It builds, it builds intestinal fortitude. It builds resilience. It builds character. And man, football is just, it's just such a great thing. It's such a great thing. And I know,

You can throw the arguments at me about CTE. You can throw me a lot of arguments and I do want to do everything that we can to keep people safe, but don't get rid of my sport, man. It's too, it's too valuable. It's evolving for sure. I mean, in the conversations are, but so here's the, I'm a, I mean, necessarily it's not really changing a topic by any means because it's still kind of in line with it, but in regards to the recruiting process and it's unique because you've seen this at multiple levels as well. And now you're coaching.

I would argue you're coaching some kids and parents through part of this too, but there's a lot of stress through this process. Like I haven't had a lot of parents that reach out to me and normally they're reaching out because they've hit a point where they're like, I have no clue what to do. I'm so stressed out. There's, you know, and their son or daughter in some cases is feeling pressure because they don't know what to do. And so,

I think a lot of the tips that you have in your book, but also to what you presented to us, provide a lot of insight on dealing with pressure and handling that. So what would be, uh, you know, some advice that you might give parents and athletes with that? There's a couple of things that come to mind. So the definition of freedom is options. So when you're going through recruiting and you've got a lot of options, don't forget that's also a lot of freedom.

Now, here's where it becomes stressful and why I do feel for these people. Because a lot of people on the outside are going, well dude, he has freaking an organ offer, an organ state offer, he has Utah, he has BYU, he has USC. Why are you so stressed, dude? Like you can't even make it. Well, the reason why it's hard is because if you get dropped off in the middle of the Mojave Desert and you don't have anything to eat and you don't have anything to do, the problem isn't...

Funaki Asisi (30:31.022)
do you have enough decisions to make? It's that you have so many decisions to make that kills you in the desert. It's like, if I make this move and I go this way, I gotta be right or else I'm not gonna make it. And so that's where a lot of stress and anxiety comes from this situation. So a couple of key things, coaches always talk about control the controllables.

They don't ever talk about what the controllables are. I would just say this, focus on the things that you can control, like your attitude, your effort, your reaction to things, your preparation can be huge. Your sleep and your nutrition during the recruiting process. Just using the golden rule of being kind. I mean, one of the things that I love to tell parents is like, Hey man, that guy at Minot State,

Could be at USC next year. You don't want to treat him like a jerk. Yep. You have no idea who he's connected to or where he's going. He's working really hard on his job. So even though my not state might not be your ideal place to play division two football, you don't know that he doesn't think you're really a division one guy and he's going to drag you to University of Arizona next year. You know, so that's one thing. I think the other thing is.

is we have to realize that there are a whole bunch of really good tools like techniques, meditation, progressive muscle relaxation that are really, really healthy ways right now to just lower your overall anxiety. Look, you're going to be a little bit anxious. You're going to have a little bit of stress in the recruiting process.

Yeah, you can turn down the volume with a good breathing technique. You can turn down the volume with a good progressive muscle relaxation. You can turn down the volume by listening to a 10 minute session of headspace on your app. Um, that can just help you. Cause really, really what we want is we want clarity and we want, um, we want the ability to think clearly. Um,

Funaki Asisi (32:50.03)
when we're in this process. And what happens when we get too many stressors is inside of our brain in the middle part, there's this thing called the amygdala. No need to go into it scientifically, but it's your alarm system, right? And when your alarms start going off, protocols and processes go out the window, right? And so what we want to do is we want to get the focus back on your prefrontal cortex, which is your executive center. It's your decision -making center.

And if we can turn down the volume of the amygdala so that your frontal lobe can start making decisions again, now we get clarity of thought. Now we can prepare. Now we can think to ourselves, man, that USC sticker is really, really cool on that helmet. But I'm actually a pro style quarterback and Stanford or Boise State might be the better place for me to play.

it might be the better place that accentuates my talents and allows me to play really, really good football. Right. I think the other thing that's really, really important to think about is in this day and age of players leaving whenever they want to, coaches have always been leaving without a contract. Make sure that you're at a school that if everything went wrong with football, that you would still enjoy going to school there.

If everything went wrong, you blew out your right knee and your left knee, and you couldn't play football anymore, would you still like going to school at Utah State University? Would you still like going to school at the University of Nevada? Would you still like going to school at Snow College, right? Wherever it is that you're trying to go. Because I think it's really important. It's not that you're preparing for failure, but there's just so many factors that go into you being successful at the next level.

that you should be at least happy and comfortable in the place that you're going to school out football being effective. Knowing that, hey, if something happens, my coach could leave. My best friend could leave. I could blow out a knee. I could, there's going to be some adversity wherever you go. So make sure you're in a place that, that feels like it gives you some, some comfort and ability to work through that adversity because man, it's.

Funaki Asisi (35:13.134)
It's a marathon. And if you're not ready for that marathon and you're not ready for mile 12, that hurts like heck. And you know, you have 12 more miles, 13 more miles. You're going to, you're, you're going to want to quit. And you don't have great people around you and a great environment around you. It's going to be hard not to. I wanted to quit after that practice that I talked about at snow college and my dad said, give it a week. And I went from fifth string quarterback to second string quarterback in a week.

Yeah. You know, and I can't tell you, I can't tell you how much that has changed my life. There's not a place and this probably happens to you, Naki. There's not a place that I go. There's not a job interview that I've had. There's not an instance where I'm talking to people about what I do that my college football career doesn't become at least part of the conversation. And it is opened up a ton of doors. Now I've had to.

I had to keep those doors open once I got in the door, but it's opened up a million doors and people want to know like, like just what you asked me earlier, who were the five guys that you played with that went to NFL? Who were the, who was the guy at Utah State? What were they like? Who, you know, but what was it like to play at the University of Washington, Riley? Oh, well, let me tell you, 80 ,000 fans is pretty loud. Especially when they got those rain guards up and it's coming down on you.

And why is it is is is what's funny about that is I've always said Washington is like an underrated from loudness level for their fans. They don't get talked about a whole lot. It's always like Oregon and other but like Washington is deafening like. Well it's even worse now that they took the track out. I played there when they were still track. They took the track out worse. No buffer anymore. There's no buffer. They're right there on you. That's hilarious. So here's.

Here's what's unique. And you talked about it. It's fun to hear you talk about this specific one. And you're not, you're not exactly what I'm talking about when I bring it up, but when it comes to like positive self -talk and I've caught, it's funny because we've, as we've been talking about things, I can hear you talking. It's almost like you share a story about, you know, going to snow or whatever. And then you can hear how, you know, negative self -talk wanted to lead you to quit. Right. And then positive self -talk.

Funaki Asisi (37:34.83)
was like, Hey, your dad talking to you, which probably led led to some intrinsic talk of like, Hey, how does I can do this? And the same thing with me. I've already mentioned multiple experiences where I thought I sucked at something. Uh, and I was like, well, hold on. I can do this. Right. And kind of changing my, my mindset on it, which I for 100 % believe. And when it comes to like the pressures and the stress that a lot of athletes have to deal with, they, this, a lot of negative self -talk, a lot of like, I can't, there's no way.

look at that guy, he's freaking killing it. How am I going to act up like that? Like I, so I would love for you to just touch on that a little bit. I think you talked through it fantastically. So first of all, the first thing that I would say is comparison is one of the, is, is one of the enemies of motivation, right? It's like one of the enemies of confidence and it's never been more prevalent than it is now. Um,

And I think I talked at the conference down at your work about, the only time I ever watched my friends highlight films, and I'm older, right? Is when we all got together like 10 years after high school and we just kind of made fun of our highlight film together. It was like, oh, that was a highlight? Like that's a highlight? Like you caught a five yard out, right? That's a highlight? They blitzed and you threw a slant, right? Like we're making fun of each other. But.

Today's version of comparison is really, really tough on kids because every single kid in your position is posting a highlight, not low lights. They're not posting the ball. They're not posting that highlighted when the ball fell out of his hand when he went to throw it and it went backwards and the other team picked up a touchdown. That's on someone else's highlight. That was, yeah, that's someone else's highlight, right? And it's not showing when he ran the option and he pitched the ball to the wrong team and they ran for a touchdown. Yeah. It's.

It's showing all of their best things. And so be real careful with comparison. You should only compare yourself to yesterday. Comparison is for things later in life, like which house am I going to buy? Which car am I? Compare the heck out of that if you want. Compare the schools that you're going to. Those are things, right? Compare the heck out of those, but compare yourself to yesterday and that will lower your blood pressure. Now, as far as self -talk goes,

Funaki Asisi (39:55.222)
Self -talk, I think it's really important for people to understand that if you come from a two -parent home with no major abuse like sexual abuse or physical abuse, right? And you come from a two -parent home and things are, every family has a little bit of emotional abuse, like that's just part of being in a family, right? That means that 77 % of your self -talk will be negative or counterproductive. So we're already starting at a deficit.

All of us, you, me, whoever. Now, take a parent out of the home, it goes up a little bit. Throw yourself into a really stressful Division One football game, it goes up a little bit. Throw in some abuse, it goes up a lot, right? And all of a sudden, you're at nine out of 10 thoughts that are barraging you with all the reasons why you can't do what you're supposed to do, right? You can't do... Look, when I made the change from being a striker, there were a million reasons why I couldn't stop...

everything and just go into sports psychology and trust me, I heard them. Now, one of the things that I think is important as you're going through self -talk is if we can just divide those in half, if we could just slow down the amount, it quiets the noise and it allows you to think more clearly. And there's a couple of different ways to do it. One is body language. Like if you can just stand in a good position, people don't understand it, but

And think about this when you're playing knocky when you had a really, really good football game, you're walking around the rest of the week. Like you're the stuff weekends are made of, right? That's a whole bunch of positive self -talk going and it changes the way you walk. We walked with a little swag, right? Like you had some swagger to you when you were playing well. What I didn't know until I went back to school is that your body language also has a direct effect on your self -talk. Yeah. So the way you stand, the way you hold yourself.

Um, you can look up a talk by Amy Cuddy on the power of body language. Um, she talks about it all the time. It releases testosterone in your system, which makes you bigger, faster, stronger, and more focused. It releases oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine in your system, which are happiness chemicals that just make you feel better about yourself. So right there, just by standing correctly, you have like seven wins going on for your own system. Right.

Funaki Asisi (42:22.094)
It changes your self -talk. But there's also a couple of other things that I think are really important when it comes to self -talk, and that is when we don't have a plan for adversity in our minds on what we're going to say to ourselves, then what we've done is we've created a vacuum and whatever comes in will come into your mind. And so when I talk to people about self -talk, it's really important not to listen to yourself and to start talking to yourself.

Yeah. Stop listening to yourself and start talking to yourself. Because when you're just listening to your thoughts, not all of your thoughts are true. But when you're talking to yourself, you can be well reasoned and you can be well intentioned about what it is that you're going to say. So when, when adversity hits, what are you going to say to yourself? Do you have a plan for that? Do you have a plan for that? Because a lot of times we don't, we're just listening. Oh, yep. They were all right. You suck. You're the suckiest suck of all sucks that ever sucked. Like, yep.

Division one schools are right. You're too small. You're not tall enough. You're not fast enough. You're never going to make it. If I had a dollar for every time that I heard that I didn't have the arm strength, the speed, the endurance, the want to the smarts to play division one quarterback, I would have made a ton of NIL money, right? But at a certain point you have to stop listening and you have to start talking to yourself. I can do this.

There's no one that'll outwork me. There may be some guys that have better arms than me, but there's nobody who's going to be better prepared than me, right? There may be some guys that are stronger than me, but they won't work harder than me in the weight room. There may be some guys that can run faster than me, but there won't be anybody that works harder on it than me, right? I talk in the book and I don't know if you're to the part in the book, but a lion, for example, a lion is not the biggest animal. He's not the tallest.

He's not the fastest. He's not the most agile. He's not the best swimmer. He's not the best flyer. And do you think he thinks for one second, he's not the king of the freaking jungle. He doesn't freaking dwell on the fact that he doesn't have strengths. He dwells on all the things that he does. And every day that dude wakes up and he hunts. That dude wakes up and he hustles that. And he doesn't even.

Funaki Asisi (44:49.398)
Did you know there's some studies right now that they've shown that predators have eyes on the front of their school and the prey has eyeballs on the side of their school because a lion ain't worried about what's behind him. I did not know that. That is extremely unique. Right? Think about all the animals that get chased. They got eyeballs that can move everywhere. Yeah.

I don't really care who's behind me, because I'm not concentrating on all the things that I'm not good at. I'm focused on the things I'm good at. And I think we have to do that a little bit more. I'll give you one more example, and this is in the book as well. But.

Dennis Rodman played for 19 years in the NBA. He focused on rebounding and playing defense, man. He couldn't shoot a three. He couldn't, I mean, he could dunk, he could shoot a layup. He wasn't even that great at free throws. He played 19 years in the NBA because he knew what his strengths were. Same with Kyle Corver. He played 17 years in the NBA because he could shoot the three and he could make free throws in the clutch. He wasn't. Now look.

This is relative, right? This is NBA. He wasn't an incredible defender. He wasn't an incredible passer, right? But dude, that dude could shoot it and he stayed in the league for 17 years because he knew what brought him to the dance. As a recruit, do you know what brought you to the dance? And yes, you should spend some time on your weaknesses, but don't forget about what brought you to the dance. Don't forget that you have a 500 pound bench press. Don't forget.

that you can put weight on. Don't forget that you can run really well for a big dude, right? Don't forget that your arm may not be as strong as John Elway's, but it's as accurate as Tom Brady's right now. Don't forget that you have some skills that brought you to the dance. And that helps your self -talk. If Tom Brady would have spent his whole career worried about the fact that he can't run a 40 -yard dash under 5 -0,

Funaki Asisi (47:01.634)
he would have been wasting a lot of time, right? Because he has seven Super Bowl rings and the dude is the goat for a reason. And he was not the most talented, athletically speaking, that ever played at that position. That's a great point. I mean... So when you focus on your strengths, it's naturally going to help you to say the things that you need to say.

When you focus on your body language, it's going to release those chemicals and those hormones that help you to say the things that you need to say. And remember, we're just trying to turn down the amount. We're not. We're not trying to turn it off. I hate to say positive and negative now, right now, not key because I played angry sometimes when I was at the University of Colorado and there was a dude following me along saying you're too short to play on Folsom Field. You don't deserve to be here. You ain't division one, blah, blah, blah. I played angry man.

And that doesn't mean that it's a negative. You got to think of everything in terms of is this helpful or unhelpful. Sometimes it drove me a little bit to play a little bit angry and a little bit ticked off. You know what I mean? And so you can change some negativity into a positive for you when it's like, oh yeah, I'll show you, you know? Yeah. Now I remember at the end of the game, I was like, how many yards did you throw for this game?

He's like, don't matter, you don't deserve to be here. I'm like, I'm just asking how many you threw for. That's hilarious. I think one of the things I love the most about what you were just saying, which I love all of it, honestly, and I'm going to touch on it again, the body language being one of them, and then a plan for adversity, which is absolutely phenomenal. And also just being able to focus on your strength and realize your strength. And I think.

One thing that I say sometimes is being able to be self aware, like be very self aware and know we could write a book on awareness, right? Like that's actually the number one thing that I got to find out about an athlete before I start working with them in sports psychology is are they aware? Yeah. Like if there's not basic awareness, then we gotta, we gotta do some things to get some basic awareness. And that doesn't mean like basic awareness, like, Oh, I suck. It means.

Funaki Asisi (49:18.158)
Like what made you mad and caused you to melt down in this instance? I don't know. I was just pissed. Are you talking about the Travis Kelsey or are you talking about, no, I was actually talking about a tennis player I worked with, but that'd be a really, really good one. Right. Like what led up to that? Because I promised you with Travis Kelsey, and this is a really good example. There were at least three or four checkpoints leading up to that moment that he could have headed that off at the pass. Yep. You know what I mean? Like he could have.

he could have deescalated that and got refocused long before that ever happened. And if he's not aware of that, now we got to build some awareness so we can actually like, you know, knock some pins down at the bowling alley, right? Or to like, or to work on the things that we need to work and you know, I that it's interesting that you bring that up. Cause that was a little bit disturbing to me. It was.

And I'm not trying to come at Travis Kelsey from a standpoint of like I respect his game. I respect the pressures on in fact, I love his intensity sometimes but man, he's a role model and I hate to see that because there's thousands of high school kids like man, I would love to done to that to my coach. Does that make it right? No, it's not the proper reaction in that in that moment. And I hope.

And I don't know what will happen, but I hope he comes out with some sort of public apology. I think Andy Reed has done a really good job of just rising. Yeah. I was just going to say that. Like I was just unbelievably impressed with how Andy Reed handled that specific because he got you saw him. I mean, I don't know if you paid attention to it. I watched a lot of those post -game interviews and he handled that perfectly in my mind. Like he's a half -bamed coach. I mean, Kevin Curtis, who's my buddy, the play man. That's true.

He's all time the best player coach that he's ever played for. And that I think that makes it even a little bit more disturbing to me because Kelsey's talked about how much he loves him in other situations to allow yourself to get that out of control. And then for us to all ignore it just because we won and just say, Oh, well, that's just the boys being okay. Yes. I'll give you a one -off on that, but there's a couple of things that need to happen. I think he needs to do a public apology.

Funaki Asisi (51:37.486)
not only to coach, but to all of his fans that like really embrace him, you know, and say, Hey man, I got out of line. I'm human and I messed that up and I'm going to work on that. You know what I mean? And then also just from a, if you want to be the best you can be, the number one thing that I think that you can do to, to, to really be the best you can be is learn how to work on your reaction or your response to things. If you can control your response,

you can influence outcomes like crazy. And in a world that doesn't control their responses, I was hoping for a little bit more out of him. And I think he's better than that. And I think he could do better. He'd probably come at me and say, well, you just don't know what it takes to be intense. You don't know what it takes to like, and I'm a winner and you're not. And yes, all of those things, Travis, but I still think you could be all that you are.

and control that. 100%. I would argue that. So there's a guy, uh, well, you probably know the name, uh, Jocko Willink. Oh yeah. Yeah. Right. I saw some recent content coming from him where it was like, uh, well, I one of the things that he said was, um, losing your temper or control. And he put it very like, he put it like just very bluntly. He was like, if you're someone who cannot control her temple, your temper, your weak.

Like that is a weakness like controlling your temper and not being able to. I think I saw that clip. He was very articulate and he stated it very well. Way better than I could have for sure. Listen, listen, it made me think about sometimes the way I've reacted to referees in a nine -year -old football game, right? Like, you know, like I can do better too. It's not just I was Kelsey. We all can do better. We all can do better on controlling our response. And...

You know, I'll tell you a funny story. So because I overreacted through a couple of calls during the football season, I'm coaching my daughter's basketball team and this may be people may feel like this is maybe a little bit off, but it's a way for me to get on the referees good side. And I just said, Hey, look, before this game starts, I just want you to know that I'm willing to pay both of you a dollar for every time I say something to you during this game. I'm willing to pay you a dollar.

Funaki Asisi (54:03.054)
Now you can take it or not take it on how you feel, but I'm working on controlling my emotions and I needed to hurt a little bit when I yell at a referee. And so I will pay you. They all laugh. If they're younger, they're like, I'll take it. I'll take it. I've had a bad day today, man. I'll take every dollar you give me. You know what I mean? And I'll tell you what, it's been amazing for me. One, to be able to laugh with the referees just before the game. It relaxes me. Number two,

I've controlled myself during the basketball season. I have not. I've been doing so much better, so much better. And look, referees aren't perfect either. Coaches aren't perfect. Players aren't perfect. Let's control our reaction a little bit. If we can control that R, man, it makes us all feel better about our performances. Which honestly is, and you presented it here and it is in your book, it's one of the actually one of the first things that you cover the E plus.

r equals o is phenomenal. Like I, I literally incorporated that into a Sunday school lesson just like a couple weeks ago, because I was like, this is absolutely like the yeah, the fact behind that is super cool. I love the way you present it. I know it's coming from research and you know, development on your end where you're like, hey, this is how I present this particular philosophy. But I'm like, man, just fantastic. So I appreciate you touching on that.

very well. Let me let me just add one thing that maybe I this is something I've added to it just since our conference that you might really like. Okay. So E plus r equals Oh, that's the event that happens to you plus your reaction equals outcome. We only have control over the R. Right? We only have control over the R. We don't have control over things that happen to us. A loved one can get cancer, a loved one can get diabetes, a loved one can have heart failure or a heart attack or someone can pass away.

A loved one can choose to leave you. You could get divorced, right? We can't control some of these events. We can't. We can, however, choose to control our R, which is our reaction or our response. And that has a direct impact on outcomes. But I've been thinking about this, and I can't remember if this was just before I came and presented to your group or not, but listen to me here for a second. Your R.

Funaki Asisi (56:25.422)
Your are becomes an E for somebody else. Yep. Your are directly impacts those that are around you. So think about Travis Kelsey situation. Did his are become an E for Andy Reed? Most certainly. Did it become an R for McKinnon who had to pull him away? Absolutely. It became an E for McKinnon who had to like choose his reaction on pulling Kelsey away. Right. And so.

I actually think that a million small Rs are what control the momentum of an organization. So if a whole bunch of people are controlling their Rs, that leads to momentum in a football game. And if a whole bunch of people are not controlling their Rs and becoming an event for other people, it makes it harder to break the cycle. So I'll give you an example.

San Francisco's down 24 to seven to the Detroit Lions in the NFC championship game. I guarantee you in that halftime speech and throughout the game, there was a whole bunch of mini Rs that were going on that were becoming ease for other people that allowed them to continue on R that was in a positive direction. And I guarantee you.

that once the momentum started to build for San Francisco, there were a few Rs that went the wrong direction for the Detroit Lions that led to momentum staying momentum against them. And I believe that a million small Rs is how momentum is built for organizations, for teams, and for individuals. I love your take on that. That makes a lot of sense. So to me,

If you can control your R, you're helping someone else to not have to break the cycle on their R. Now you can stop momentum. There's no question that, and Kansas City Chiefs did it, right? Like there was a bad R there. Andy Reed reacted accordingly. McKinnon reacted accordingly and he broke the chain of maybe a bad R situation and they were able to move it into a positive momentum.

Funaki Asisi (58:40.75)
But it was because of a few people after Travis Kelsey that broke the chain and moved it back to a positive or rather than a negative or for their team. And that's harder to do. That's much more difficult to do than when you have. That's why when you played on great teams and I know you played on some conference teams, there was a bunch of dudes controlling their hours for sure.

What I'm saying, like I'm reflecting on that a lot and even not even just teams I've played on, but teams that I've been around, not just even from a sports context, but from an organizational context where it's like, dude, like from an organization standpoint, like, hey, if you have a bunch of people who are reacting to, let's say businesses, so what's your reaction? Like, what is everyone's reaction? What is everyone and the collective reaction of people to business being so if it's negative to a point, then where do you think we're going to trend?

And then that was going to trend downward, right? Oh man, that's unique. I love that. It's just something that I've really been thinking about. I heard somebody talk about how your R becomes an E and then I just thought about it in your own life. I mean, think about your marriage. Like what is your reaction like to your spouse all the time? And are you building a positive R to things or are you a negative R and she has to break the chain or he has to break the chain to get it going back in the right direction all the time? That's heavy lifting, right?

If we could control our Rs man, the momentum for your marriage. I mean, I've, I heard a friend of mine once tell me, I said, what happened with your divorce? And he's like, man, it was a million small moments. Well, I could say it was a million small Rs. Right. And I think people that are in a great marriage would probably say, I'd say, man, why is your marriage so good? Ah, it's a million small moments. It's a million small Rs. Right.

I kind of have a loss for words because I'm still kind of mind blown by like it's one of those things where it's like you put a different perspective on something that has existed but it's like it hits a lot deeper when I think about it that way because I'm like man literally the collective if the if the R is positive right if the reaction is positive it changes everything like and it's unique too because people want to talk about people want to talk about

Funaki Asisi (01:01:00.974)
the game of football and the momentum, which is a very real thing in football. Totally real. And especially in college and pro football, because I don't know how you feel about it, but the game is so long. So like there could be three momentum switches in a, in a football game if you're not careful. Right. Within minutes sometimes too. Right. Yeah. It's because I mean, I remember I played my first college football game, like that game felt like it was, well, the truth is it's about 12 minutes longer than a high school football game. Right. So it is an extra quarter.

Yeah. But there's also a million small moments in there where you have to choose your R on how things happen. You know, you threw a pick, you gave up a sack, you got beat deep. Yeah. Did you control your R and how did that affect your teammates and how that affect the momentum of the game? I'm gonna, I think I'm gonna get some shirts made or I'm waiting for it to show up. It says control here. Like you're thinking about it. Like that's, that's a team. That's a team mantra right there. Like,

That's true. I love it. I'm waiting. Someone's going to steal it. I know it. So I hope so. Send me a t -shirt. I think the greatest form of flattery is imitation, right? So just send me a t -shirt. I just want to wear it. Uh, well, man, I, yeah, I, I swear I could go on for days with you. Um, we, we, we talked about a lot of things, uh, and I think all in all,

What I really want to do at this point is I want to point people to your book. If you don't mind for a second, I would love for you to brag about it for a little bit. I got it right here. You can see I have my handy dandy index card that I'm keeping my place in it. But man, this has been extremely insightful and everything that you provided extremely insightful. Where can, for the record, Pure Unadulterated Guts is the title. And, um,

A lot of what we've talked about has been coming from the book, but where can people get it? Where? Anything that you want to talk about specifically in regards to the book itself? So you can get it at rjpg .net backslash pug for pure unadulterated guts. I've got it listed so you can get on Amazon, Barnes and Noble. You can get on Audible. You can get it at Walmart. I mean, I even saw that it's for sale at the Harvard bookstore. So that that was.

Funaki Asisi (01:03:24.238)
That was a big compliment to me. I'm about to say that's complimentary for sure. Yeah. So I've kind of got it like that's the best place to go to all your favorite places to purchase it is www .rjpg .net backslash pug for pure unadulterated guts. That's the best place to go get it. Um, I wrote the book. I talked about it in the book. It, it stretched me. I had to be vulnerable. I had to be brave. I had to be courageous. There's other people that,

that do the job that I do and they do it really, really well. And I'm kind of putting myself out there to be judged by some of my peers and to be judged by other people and say, Oh, I didn't really like that story or that one was kind of corny. But I'm just hoping, I'm just hoping that we can build a more confident society. That's that at the end of the day, what I want people to be is I want them to be more confident, more confident in themselves, more confident.

more ability to build confidence in their kids, in their coworkers, in their teammates, and in the people that are around them because while confidence is a feeling, and I don't think it's a predictor of results, I do think that it makes everything feel a little bit nicer, and it makes things feel a little bit better. And the goal of the book was to give people some tools.

to maybe fight a little bit smarter rather than just harder. There's a lot of people out there that are working really, really hard. But maybe if I just gave you a couple of tools for your tool belt, maybe if I could be the butler to your Batman and just show you how to use these tools and when to use these tools that you can go out and slay dragons tomorrow and...

and feel a little bit more confident about it because we're all slaying dragons and we're out there working hard and we're doing the very best we can with the tools we got. I just want to make your tools a little sharper and a little bit better so that if you got to pull out that Batman Chinese star and slay the Joker in your life, you can do it, you know? Yeah. Listen, I want to say this to you because it really has ever since you met with us and ever since I've been reading in, like it's really unique how you mentioned tools.

Funaki Asisi (01:05:45.134)
Because for me, it's like things that I realize all the time where it comes to like my strength of being able to be self -aware. Like I can't even really comprehend how I've been able to truly measure that and grasp that. But when we go through and we talk about things in your book, it gives me better perspective on how to grasp those things, right? How to control an R. Like I wouldn't have been able to put that into words for you really than other like, hey, control your controllables or...

these are things, but it gives a whole different perspective. When you say tools, I look at it from that standpoint where I'm like, hey, like I have a way to attribute something about myself that I wasn't really aware of before to an actual, you know, whether it be a parable or whether it be insight that you provide an experience. I'm like, that's, that's where I've gained a lot of value in just these experiences. So to, from a complimentary standpoint, just absolutely phenomenal for me personally. So I'm, I'm,

I'm saying, hey, go get this book for everyone and anyone, especially in a sports world. I mean, even outside of it, we had for the record, pure energy is a solar company. And we had all these operational staff that have, you know, I would say maybe 10 % of them, it could be off if they're listening, I apologize, but 10 % of them probably that were involved in sports, right?

And, but I'll tell you the message was just as impactful with a hundred percent of them. Then you might, you might've realized. So what's unique about it is like, yeah, these might be sports preferences, but it is extremely like relatable. Thank you. Thank you. At the end of the day, I think courage is about at the end of the day, you listen to that little voice inside your head or inside your soul. It says, you know what?

I think I'll wake up and try again tomorrow. Sometimes, sometimes courage doesn't roar. You know what I mean? Sometimes courage is like, you know what, I'm gonna try and do that again tomorrow. I think I've got what it takes. I think I can do this, right? And that's what I want people to have. I want them to feel empowered. We've got a lot of sadness in this world. We've got a lot of difficult situations. We've got...

Funaki Asisi (01:08:04.64)
politics and race relations and a lot of different things that were going that are going on out there, but if we can just Be the best version of ourselves You know, I think about my kids a lot I think you know when I'm yelling at refs during a nine -year -old game like what kind of an example am I am I spreading to my Nine -year -old kids on my team, but more importantly to my son. Am I teaching him to react correctly? He's in it's it's not taken lightly on my part and I'm trying to get better at it and I

I'm you, I use the tools that I've written down in this book every single day, every single day. And, um, it's fun. And I love to see it's just as impactful for me to, to have someone feel a paradigm shift or have that light bulb moment in the business place as I did when I was talking to Philip Rivers and we were, you know, going to the bowl game in the Gator bowl. And he's like, Oh,

That's a great idea. I'll check to this if we see this look, right? Like it's just as impactful to me. And so I don't know. I'm, you know, I don't, I don't have any delusions of grandeur that this is going to be like the number one bestseller on New York times, but if it helps you and if it helps a couple of people are pure energy, or if it helps a couple of people that listen to this show, like that's extremely impactful to me. And most importantly, I want it to be impactful to my kids one day because.

I'm not really good at writing in a journal. I had a time in my life for two years that I wrote every day in a journal, but I haven't really written since then. And I wanted to have my kids to have something that they could hold on to when I'm no longer around, that they could say, yeah, that's the way my dad thought. Yeah, I can hear my dad's voice in this. And maybe, just maybe, it's the way that I live on after I turn cold and I'm six foot under somewhere.

that I can still have an impact on my posterity and on people. So. I'm gonna try not to get emotional because I very much could, which by the way, the activity with the rocks after the fact, and I don't want to spoil anything for anybody, but that activity, I didn't share mine because I knew I would get emotional. I'm a hopeless person. Aw, man!

Funaki Asisi (01:10:22.766)
It would have been so powerful. I know. I apologize. I'm so mad at you. I know in hindsight, I probably should have shared it. You op -ed deployment in here. You had to mask up a little bit. You could share the deepest star. I didn't put the cold gear on, the long sleeves. I was like, I'm gonna do it. But so I don't know if you mind me sharing kind of what you did with the activity with the Rocks. Oh, that's fine. So it's super cool how you had, you know, everyone had a little Black Rock and you talked a lot about the...

And you can correct me if I'm off base at all of this, but you talked a lot about New Year's resolutions and how your focus can start to get skewed. A lot of them are very grand, things that you want to achieve. And you could have a long list of different objectives and goals over the year that you want to do and it become very cumbersome. So instead of focusing so much on just all these mass things, it's like, hey, what's one word that can...

you know, that may be in relation to a lot of your goals or things that you want to accomplish, but just one word that really drives home what you want to get out of this particular year. And yeah, you have everybody write down a word. And I remember mine specifically, I still have it. It's on my desk at home, stares me in the face every night. Are you going to tell us now? You're not going to tell us? Well, it's not super grand. Like I say, it was a very simple one. It was actually one that it was example that you shared, but it was believe.

Like it was believed for me. And yeah, a lot of people, like I said, a lot of people shared theirs. I think I'm in a little bit more control now, but in the moment was like, Hey, like just overall belief in myself, or I believe that, Hey, I can, I can, again, I could do hard things at some point over the last, you know, couple of years, I've questioned that to myself. Like, Hey, can't like, am I the guy I used to be? Like, can I still do these things? Like, am I able to, so.

belief was a big one for me. Like things, personal things that I will accomplish, I want to accomplish with this particular podcast and, and, um, personal things in my life as a, you know, as a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter -day Saints, like things that I want to accomplish from that standpoint, like, and it can become, you know, as a dad, there's so many things that I want to accomplish. And I'm like, Hey, instead of focusing on, you know, all of these things in particular, which can be very overwhelming. I just, I want to believe that I can get all these things done.

Funaki Asisi (01:12:45.614)
Like I could believe I could do it. And if I believe I could do it and I'll do it. So as unique. Yeah. That was mine though. That was. I love it. Yeah. But I think, I think the one word thought process is really powerful because it's simple, but it's also very complex. And I think that's what our lives are. Right? Like our lives are simple and complex, but we can have an over guide or guiding principle for what we're trying to do. We can always come back to that. Like,

Believe in your wife, believe in your kids, believe in yourself, believe in God, believe in your company, believe in your boss. Believe can have so many different meanings for you. Right. And you know, I shared my word, which was poise, but in the past, a word of mine has been health. Uh, another word of mine has been, uh, the side. Like, like, you know, and, and, and the power of one word and it, there's, you know, it's.

probably a good idea for me to pitch his book right now. John Borden wrote the book with somebody else called The Power of One Word. That's where I got it from. And he does a great job of explaining it as well. I do a couple of variances to it, but I mean, it's really his genesis and can be so powerful. It's been very powerful to me to choose a word each year and just kind of get behind that word and always get back on track. It's like, I don't know. Thank you for sharing your work.

No, I know I appreciate it. The I think the only thing that I'll add, I kind of got off track there slightly, but for a good reason. You mentioned, hey, I don't really journal. And this book is kind of like a legacy deal for you. And for your kids, I don't have. Yeah, I honestly think I'm not naive. Like it is me. We talked about the Kelsey Brothers like this is one of the best podcasts in the world right now. Right. And I'm like,

I'm not naive to the fact that like, hey, this is a very niche podcast. I understand, you know, where the audience is for it and the things that can be learned. But what's unique about what you said, personal level, is I look back at this and I'm like, there is something here. A lot of things recorded, a lot of stories that I've been able to share that it's legacy for me. Like there's kids and generations to come after, like, hey, that's who...

Funaki Asisi (01:15:08.846)
you know, that's who my dad was, or that's who grandpa was, or that's who great -grandpa whatever it is, there's stuff here that can hopefully help them in their lives for decades, in which now you're contributing to that, so I'm extremely appreciative of that very much. Thank you, Nagi. It's been really fun for me to get to know you better through this process, and whenever you're up in Salt Lake City, I want to go have a lunch, or I want to go hang out. For sure. Back up here, I know there's a lot of people pulling on you, but I'll be one of them.

Likewise now, likewise, I'll be hitting you up for sure. So thank you and yeah, appreciate you taking the time and we'll probably cut right there. Good things to come, my man. Yeah, I appreciate you.